We can t give up
by 239Steffi239
Summary: The Story starts after the end of 6x23; What if Tyson wants revenge after all what happend? Kate and Rick have to go through tough times and have to deal with their biggest fears. WARNING: Rated M for a reason (mature themes)
1. Chapter 1

**_We can´t give up_**

This Fanfiction starts after the finale of season 6.

Chapter 1

Kate´s POV

"This can´t be true."

I stand there and stare at the burning car of my fiancée. My whole world broke down in the moment I arrived at the accident. I feel like I can´t breathe anymore. Someone´s softly touching my shoulder, when a big explosion blows up in front of me. I screamed while I start running down the hill, straight to the burning car. I need to see it with my own eyes. Need to see that Rick is really in that car. I stumble and fall down on my knees. In that moment I hear a voice from above yelling something that I don´t understand. This is the moment when the second explosion starts.

I slowly try to open my eyes. There was a bright light and the whole room was colored in white. Then I realize the worried faces above me. Martha and Alexis are sitting right beside my hospital bed. The moment they notice that I´m awake, Martha wipes off her tears and smiles at me.

"Katherine how do you feel?"

"Uhm I´m okay I think. But what happened?"

"No one could stop you from running to Rick´s burning car. Esposito screamed after you, that the fire department warned us from explosions. And in that moment it hit you and knocked you out. Luckily you were far enough away so you didn´t get any bad injury. Only some small bruises."

Now the memory is coming back and with it all the hurt that I felt before. Tears starting to roll over my cheeks.

"Is he dead?" I asked with a big lump in my throat.

I´m not sure if I want to hear the answer of this question. I see the sad faces from Martha and Alexis. In that moment I can´t breathe anymore. I started to fight for air. Martha comes close to me and tries to calm me down.

"Oh my god honey calm down please! He isn´t dead! They didn´t found a body."

I feel the air again floating through my lungs.

"What does that mean?" I quietly ask Martha.

Now Alexis went to my bed and grabbed softly my hand.

"They found footsteps from two persons beside the car. The police presume that he was kidnapped. And the whole accident was staged".

The only thing that I can think about in this moment is, "I have to find him".


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kate´s POV

The night in the hospital almost killed me. I was thinking about Rick the whole time and couldn´t get a single minute of sleep. And this morning the first thing I told the doctor was to sign my discharge papers.

In that moment the nurse just comes in with the signed papers and allows me to leave the hospital now. I got out of it as fast as I can and my first way goes straight to the precinct. The whole night I was thinking about what to do first and I thought I would get the most information´s about Rick´s disappearance at the precinct.

When I arrive there Esposito and Ryan hug me tight and tell me that they are so glad that I´m okay.

"So guys what do we have?" I asked.

"I´m sorry Kate, we don´t have a lot at the moment" Ryan tells me. "Yesterday we found the footsteps beside his car and a witness saw a black SUV driving down the street twice"

"Do we have the plate number of the SUV?"

"Not yet, the witness could only remind the first three numbers, but we already search for it"

"Got it" Esposito yelled form the other side. "We just found a little store which has a camera and guess what car droves by two times?"

"The SUV!"

"Right, now we have the complete plate number and we can give a search out".

"Hey Beckett" Ryan says with a worried look on his face. "I think you should go home and get some rest. You look like you haven´t slept the whole night."

"No Ryan I can´t go home, not now! I want to help you – to do something!"

"There´s nothing you can do right now, as soon as we got a hint on the SUV we will call you, I promise"

"Hm okay but call me when you found something".

I unlock the door to my apartment. At first I thought about going to Rick´s apartment but then I decided against because there are Martha and Alexis with their sadness and at the moment I just can´t handle my own hurt. When I close the door I just slide down on the back of it and start to cry. So long I hold back my feelings because I didn´t wanted to show weakness at the precinct. I feel so bad right now, my whole body is arching. He just disappeared on our wedding day, why does something like this happen? Any time the tiredness overcomes me and I fell asleep on the floor. It seems like there are only a few minutes before my phone wake me up.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rick´s POV

I feel a bad headache as I try to open my eyes. But I can´t see anything. All is black and dark. What the hell is going on? What happened? I remember that I was on the way to my wedding with Kate when a black SUV showed up beside me. Oh god Kate! I want to see her. She must feel terrible. What if she thinks that I won´t want to marry her? That's the last I want. I love her so much!

In that moment I hear footsteps coming closer. I still can´t see anything. There. Someone is laughing horrible. The footsteps still come closer till they stop jerky in front of me. The laugh rings again.

"Who are you? And where I am?" I asked.

"You don´t have such a big mouth anymore, Castle huh?"

That voice, that terrible voice I remember so good. Tyson! In that moment he takes the cloth from my eyes. I look in the eyes of Jerry Tyson which are filled with so much hate.

"Tyson! What do you want from me?!" I scream in his face.

Again he laughs.

"Castle, I told you almost one year ago that I love the scheduling of a crime. The hurt that I can put the people through, which are the most important for my victims. To see them suffering. Do you know who will be suffering the most? Kate! When she realizes that she can´t save you."

"No you bustard!" I yelled at him.

The thought of Kate hurts so much. She must go through so much pain.

"Why me? Why are you torturing us so much?"

"You want to know why I picked you? You really want to know? Because I have done so much crimes and homicides before. The most of them felt into the scope of the responsibility of Detective Kate Beckett. So many times she almost caught me. At first I´ve done the crimes on my own, but then I liked the act with your little Detective. So I arranged a lot of people to perform the crime for me. Many of them got caught and arrested from her, but I was always there to watch. To watch her despairing due to the many disagreements. But then something changed. Someone´s gotten into my little game. You know who I mean Rick? Right, you! You helped her to solve my crimes and suddenly she felt something like joy in her work. Then something really important happened. You two felt in love. And this was my shot. I had a new point where I could hurt her more than ever."

"You are a completely psycho! You know that! What has she ever done to you?"

"She thought she can defeat me – thought that she is cleverer then me. But she strays! I will destroy her and now I have the best chance!"

I hear the terrible laugh long after he left the basement where I was enchained. When I realize what he´s just said my whole body starts to ache.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kate´s POV

"Beckett?"

"Yo Beckett here is Javi. We got a hint on the SUV. A ranger just saw it in the national park in front of an old house. We will be at your apartment in 10 minutes to pick you up".

I hang up as I quickly go to my bathroom to wash my tears away. We will find him, we have to. I repeat that sentence all the time in my head like a mantra.

The drive to the place where they found the car takes way to long in my opinion. Meanwhile Kevin get me updated what the ranger said before.

"The house is unoccupied for about 5 years. Last night a couple saw light inside the house. Many times before there were some teenagers which had celebrated a party there. But this time it seems different, so the ranger went to check but everything was quiet. The only thing he does was notify the SUV as he heard from the search for it."

"He didn´t went in?"

"No because he was alone and hired to stay back"

After a few more miles we reach the house at last. I feel my heart beating so fast and my breath comes irregularly as I see the black SUV standing beside the house. We jump out of the car and Javi treats in the door. We distribute us in the house. Javi immediately run upstairs.

"I take the basement" I yelled.

And Kevin will rummage the ground floor. I follow the hallway to the door downstairs when I scared recognize the blood drops on the floor. Suddenly I stop in front of it. There. There was this strange noise again. I already thought I heard it a few steps before. Something is moving behind the door.

I unlock my gun and pull my finger on the trigger. I slam the door with my foot when suddenly a mouse runs straight out of the basement. I repressed a sudden scream that came up in my throat.

Kate calm down! It was only a little mouse! I slowly climbed down the stairs step by step. The whole room was dark, I can´t see anything. As I reached the end of the stairs there is a sinister silence.

I try to find a light switch when my finger suddenly feels it. I turn the light on as a horrified scream escapes my throat. My whole body immediately starts to shake as I read the bloody words on the wall.

"THE GAME IS ON"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kate´s POV

I´m standing there in front of the wall, unable to move even a little bit. I hear someone yelling my name upstairs. In that moment Javi and Kevin run down the stairs behind me.

"Kate what happened? We heard you scream."

I still can´t move when tears start to stream down my cheeks. The boys look up and see what terrifies me so much.

"Kate we…" Javi starts but I cut him off.

"I´m fine. So did you find something in the upper parts of the house?" I try to act normal as best as I can.

The guys share a confused look and tell me then that they didn´t found anything in the rest of the house.

"Kate you shouldn´t be here. What do you think about going out of the house to clear your mind a little?" Kevin softly whispers.

"No I can do that. I´m fine." I say while I wipe away my tears. "I know Kate, I know. But you should go. We will call you when the securing of evidence arrives."

I run away from the house as far as I can, before I break down in front of a big old tree. I can´t breathe anymore. I feel like I´m shattering inside. How can I try to find him, when I can´t even find a clear thought. It´s much worse as I thought at first. Someone´s playing with me – torturing me. I can´t stop thinking about the words on the wall. They were written with blood. Was it Rick´s blood? Who is behind all this and what has he done to Rick? My tears start to fall again.

When I came back to the house the guys from the securing of evidence already started their work. I don´t want to go in that room again. But I need to, if I want to know what they found out. So I try to pluck up my courage and walk down to the basement. Javi and Kevin don´t notice me at first. I walk up to them and ask

"Did they already found something? And…" I start to stutter.

"And do we already know who´s blood this is?"

Javi takes me to the other side of the room.

"They found evidence. It was only a small hair but they already found a match in the database."

"Whom belongs it to?" I ask immediately.

"I.. It.. It belongs to Jerry Tyson" Javi says quietly.

"What? That´s impossible. He´s dead! He died in the river almost one year ago!"

"We know that Kate but probably Castle were right. He never believed that he´s dead."

I try to treat the words which Javi just told me.

"And Kate…" Kevin softly touched my shoulder. "…the blood on the wall.. it.. it belongs to Rick."

That´s when is see myself falling again in the deep dark nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Rick´s POV

We must have driven for hours now. My leg is still pounding from the placket of the knife. After that, Tyson took me in a delivery truck and since then we are driving. It must have been already hundreds of miles. Where the hell are we going? Slowly the fear takes control of my brain. How can Beckett find me when I´m miles away? Will she find me at all? No stop it Castle! She will find a way. She always finds one.

A few hours later the truck suddenly stops. Then Tyson opens the door. He blinks at me with a dangerous look in his face.

"Where are we?"

The answer is only an evil smile.

"Get up Castle, I want to show you our new home for the next time. Don´t do anything stupid. Just act normal, I want to remind you of the gun under my jacket."

When I turn out of the car warm air is floating at my face. We are in a small nice colony with beautiful houses. When I look around me eyes suddenly catch something which I can´t believe.

The plate on the car next to me is from Orlando, Florida. I feel the fear come back in my body. How the hell should Beckett find me when I´m in another state?

Tyson must have read my mind as he smiles at me and lead me to the entrance of the house. Inside he throws me in the basement again.

"This whole basement is soundproofed. So nobody will hear you if you try to do something stupid. We will have a little photo shoot now Castle."

He takes a New Yorker Newspaper from today and hand it to me.

"Oh come on Castle give me a smile for your girl."

But all I want to do is throw the newspaper in his face. After he took the photo he slapped me in the face and went upstairs. I lie on the cold ground and all I can think about is Kate. I need to tell her where I am. I need to get contact to her, anyway!

I look around in the basement to find something useful. But here is absolutely nothing. No small windows – nothing. I try to scream for help but I believe him that the basement is totally sound proofed because I can´t hear a noise from above. This will be a hard long time in here.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kate´s POV

Last night was a really long and painful night. I was searching for clues but didn't found anything. When I fell asleep I had horrible nightmares. Now my phone wakes me up by its sound. I realize that I had fallen asleep on my desk so my whole body was hurting now.

"Beckett." I pick up my phone.

A distorted voice is on the other line. In this moment my mind was totally clear.

"Who is there?" I ask.

"It doesn´t matter who I am. I think I have something that belongs to you. You know what I mean?"

My breath stops for a moment.

"Where is he? Don´t touch him or…"

"Or what? Detective I think you are not in the position to threaten me. I guess you received my first message, don´t you? So I think we can start our little game. I will give you hints where I am and you have to find me. That's all. Not that difficult. So are you on?"

"I want a device that Castle is still alive, otherwise I´m not doing anything."

"Oh sure I thought that this is your first wish. You just received an E-Mail with a photo. This is your device. I would rather hurry up if you want to see him again."

Then the connection breaks up. I was still in shock when I open my messages. There is a new E-Mail from an unknown dispatcher. The moment I open up the appendage, tears starting to run over me cheeks.

I drive to the precinct as fast as I can. When I arrive there, my eyes were still swollen from the crying. Esposito and Ryan quickly come up to me.

"Hey Beckett what happened?"

"He called me. The man who kidnapped Castle just called me a few minutes ago. He sent me a photo of Castle with the today´s Newspaper. He told me that he will give me hints where he is and what he´s doing next."

"We will try to track the number immediately. Don´t worry Beckett, we will find him."

In that moment I receive a new E-Mail. With a confused look I read the message.

"I´m not at home, I´m far away, so search for me or I will break."

"What the hell does that mean?" Ryan asks.

"It´s his first hint. He´s playing with us."

"But how can we find Castle with this sentence?"

"We can find him and we will!" I say resolutely.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kate´s POV

It´s all black. I can´t even see my hand in front of my face. But what is that? I hear someone terribly scream. Rick! I follow the scream through the darkness, till I can see a small light. Again is Rick painfully screaming. The fear is climbing up in my body. I reach a door which is opened a little. Rick is whimpering behind the door, he must have horrible aches. With a flip I open the door and freeze to ice. I can see Rick cuffed on a chair. Tyson´s standing beside him with a big knife in his hand. It seems like there are tons of blood floating to the ground. When Tyson sees me standing in the door he laughs and takes the knife to Ricks throat.

In that moment I awake screaming in my bed. Tears run down all over my face. It was just a dream but it seems so real.

I just want to crawl myself into Ricks strong arms and just feel save. But I can´t. I can´t because this bustard kidnapped him. I want him back so badly.

When I get out of the elevator from the precinct I walk straight to my desk. Javi and Kevin walk over to me.

"Hey Beckett, please don´t take it wrong, but you look terrible. Did you sleep last night at all?"

"Uhm yeah I slept a few hours but I didn´t slept very well. Do we have any new hints?"

"Yes we really got a new clue last night, but we didn´t want to wake you" Kevin said.

"We found something on the wall from the photo. In the right corner, can you see it? It´s only a small part of it."

"There. There is a number."

"Right! This is the year when the house was build. So the place where Castle is, is a very old house. We searched for the structure of the house and found out that these kinds of houses are mostly built in Florida."

"What?" I screamed in incredulity.

"So you want to tell me that Castle is in Florida? We need to go there immediately! Why didn´t you call me earlier!"

"Beckett" Javi starts. "We can´t go to Florida now. We don´t know where we should start to search for him. Florida is a big state, he can be everywhere. But we will search for more clues."

"Okay go back to work", I say while I try to start my computer.

I open my e-mail program when my eyes catch a new incoming mail. The subject is called "TO THE LOVELY KATE BECKETT". At first I want to see what´s in that mail alone, so I open the message.

After that, a video clip is opening. I freeze when I see Rick cuffed on a chair. In that moment the memory of my nightmare comes back. Then Tyson walks into the picture.

"Hey Katie, look who wants to say hello to you. We really have a lot of fun here. But I think you should pay a little more attention to your newest case."

He´s slapping Rick with his fist in his face. Rick is whimpering painfully. This picture of him breaks my heart totally. Then the screen went black again.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Kate´s POV

After I received that torturing video of Castle the boys sent me straight home. I didn´t try to respeak them.

Now I find myself sitting at home with a bottle of whisky in my hand. I already drank the half bottle. My only wish is to drink all the pain away. Suddenly I fall asleep when the empty bottle hits the floor.

When I awake the next morning my head is hurting and turning. I feel even worse as the day before. Maybe alcohol wasn´t the best solution for my pain. The first thing I do is to check my phone for new information. My phone recorded three calls from the precinct last night. After a shower I drive straight to the office.

"What have you found?" I ask as I enter the room.

"Beckett, we tried to call you last night but you didn't pick up. We found a new hint on the video. After the screen went black, it shows a few pictures. You want to see it?"

"Sure" I answered promptly.

The Boys started the video at the point I switched it off yesterday. In that moment I see different photos showing up on the monitor. A photo of Disneyland, a train and a nice house.

"So I guess you already have a theory for that?" I ask the boys.

"Right Kate we already analyzed the photos. So we guess Disneyland means that they are currently in Orlando. And we pretend that the other two photos mean that Castle is in the near of a train line and in a "better" colony." Kevin tells me.

"So we need to go to Orlando!" I say.

"Slowly Beckett", Javi calms me down, "we already told Gates about the new information, but she said that the Orlando Police Department is now responsible for that case."

"No! I need to help. They don´t know how important that case is!" I almost yelled at him.

"We know how important this is for you Kate, so it is for us, but we are ordered to stay here and don´t have the permission to ascertaining in that case anymore."

"What? This is a joke, right? I can´t do nothing when this bustard has him."

I feel tears come up in my eyes.

"Kate I think it´s the best when you go home and take the rest of the day free." Kevin tells me.

Without a word against it, I nodded and make my way out of the precinct.

When I arrive at home, I immediately book the next flight to Orlando.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Kate´s POV

When I arrive at the airport in Orlando, my first way took me in an internet coffee. I want to search for the train lines in Orlando, even if I know that I don´t have the smallest chance to find Rick on my own. In that moment my phone rings, it´s Javi.

"Beckett" I pick up.

"Hey Kate, where are you? We wanted to look after you at your apartment, but you weren´t there."

With my other ear I hear in the meantime a starting airplane. So does Javi.

"Please tell me that you didn´t done something stupid Beckett. You are on the airport, right?"

I confessed that I just arrived in Orlando.

"Oh damn it Beckett! You can´t do that on your own. Tyson is dangerous and you will need back up."

"Javi I had to do that. I can´t back down when Rick is in danger." I whisper in my phone.

I hear a long sigh on the other end of the line.

"Okay. I wanted to tell you that we found something new. When we analyzed the video again we heard a sound in the background when the pictures showed up. You can hear airplanes landing. Kate he´s in the near of the airport. But I beg you to not do anything on your own!"

I feel new hope lighting up in me. "Thank you for the information Javi I need to hung up now" I tell him when I end the phone call.

So I search for train lines in the near of the airport. For my luck there are not existing very much. I can find only two train lines around the airport and there are only four different colonies beside these lines. I search for that kind of houses the picture showed us. And I get only one match with these building.

I take the next cab to the colony I think Tyson retained Rick. The cab took me off in the small colony a few minutes later. I walk around through the streets and search for something inconvenient. Suddenly my eyes catch a big truck in front of a nice house.

In my opinion a truck like this doesn´t fit in a colony like that. So I slowly walk over to the house. I try to hide myself as best as I can, when I move towards the nearest window.

My heart is beating hard against my chest when I see Jerry Tyson inside of the house.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Kate´s POV

I should wait for backup, just like Javi said. But I can´t wait any longer, I need to get Rick out of there.

Before I go in I text Javi the address where I am and take my gun. I carefully walk around the house to find another entrance. And there it is, on the backside of the house is a second door.

To my surprise the door isn´t locked, so I quickly turn inside. When I stay in the hall, all is deadly silent. A few minutes before I saw Tyson in the kitchen. So I walk quietly around the next corner where I can see that the door to the kitchen is open. I take all my courage together and jump in the doorframe with my loaded gun.

In that moment I hear a noise from behind, but before I can turn around, someone´s knocking me down on the floor. My first thought was the gun. I try to grab it from the floor, but Tyson already kicked it away. Now his gun is pointing at me.

"Detective what a pleasure to see you here" he laughs. "What a dumb idea to come here alone. Did you really believe that you can take me down on your own?" Again he laughs.

"What let´s you think that i´m alone?" I yell in his face.

"If you have backup they would have already been here to help you."

Damn it! Point taken, I thought.

"Where is Rick? What have you done to him? If he´s hurt I swear I will…"

"Na na Detective I think you are still not in the position to threaten me. Who has the gun?"

Tyson slowly walks towards the place where I am still lying on the ground. He kneels down beside me and puts his mouth to my ear and whispers

"We will have a lot more fun, now that you joined our company." After that he knocks me out with his fist.

Rick´s POV

What was that? Suddenly I hear noises from above. Tyson must haven´t closed the door right, as he left the basement the last time. Something has fallen hard on the floor.

I would have climbed up the stairs to the door, to hear more, but my injuries are hurting too much. Now Tyson is grinding something over the floor. In that moment the door swings open, but all I can see is Tyson´s silhouette because of the darkness.

He´s carrying something on his shoulders, when he climbs down the stairs.

"Look who joined us Castle."

Now I understand, it wasn´t something it was someone on Tyson´s shoulders. As he throws the women down in front of my feet my whole body starts to shake.

It is Kate! My lovely Kate. She is nonsentient and has bruises on her head.

"What have you done to her?" I try to scream but my voice breaks.

Tears start to burn in my eyes, when I try to understand what just happened.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Kate´s POV

When I slowly awake my head is heavily pounding. I try to open my eyes, but stop what is that. Someone is softly stroking my hair. My memory of what happened is blurry. When I finally open my eyes my whole body is in tension.

This can´t be true. I look in the wonderful eyes of my lovely fiancée.

"Hi", Rick says with a small smile when he carefully strokes my cheek.

Before I can say a single word, tears start to run down my face. I rest my head on his strong chest and he pulls me tight in his embrace. When I calmed myself down a little, I put his injured face carefully in my hands and kiss him passionately.

After a while we both pull apart to get some air and Rick rests his forehead on mine.

"What are you doing here Kate?" he whispers resigned.

"I wanted to find you and get you back" I say and tell him the whole story.

"Oh Kate, but how can you come here alone. Now he has us both and I don´t want you to go through the same pain he caused me the last week."

Now I can see tears in his eyes and all I wish is to bring him out of this hell.

"We will find a way out of this, Rick. And before I went in here I messaged the address to the precinct. They will find us."

"Hopefully they´ll find us on time" Castle says with a terrified look.

Suddenly the door swings open and Tyson climbs down the stairs.

"Oh the sleeping beauty is awake" he laughs.

Rick immediately pushes me behind him.

"I swear you, if you touch or hurt her I will kill you by myself" Rick threatens him.

"Don´t be ridiculous! I can do whatever I want with you two and you can´t do anything against it."

In that moment my grip on Ricks hand tights and my whole body freeze.

"Now that we are three, let´s play a game."

Tyson quickly takes his gun and gives Castle the order to sit on a chair he prepared. After he cuffed him on the chair he walks over to me and pushes me against the wall. He cuffs me with the chains which are hanging from the wall.

"Don´t you dare to touch her!" Rick yelled from his chair.

"Don´t worry Castle I will not hurt her… yet!" Then he slowly walks towards to Rick.

"The time for her will come, but at first it´s your turn" he laughs and puts out a long knife.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Kate´s POV

Tyson slowly takes his knife softly above Rick´s skin.

"Now that you´re here Kate, it will be much more fun" he smiles at me.

My breath stutters, I want to scream but I can´t even bring out a little sound. My whole body is in tension.

"No where should I start Katie?" Tyson whispers at me.

I can´t stop myself from staring at him incredibly.

"Don´t be so shy Kate, I won´t kill him. The only thing I want is a little play."

When my eyes find Rick´s, I can his the fear in them. He´s already gone through this and probably knows exactly what comes next. The moment my eyes retained on Rick´s Tyson sets a long deep cut over the length of Rick´s arm.

His eyes now mirroring the whole terrible pain. When I finally found my voice again I start to scream as loud as I can.

"No! Stop it – oh god please, stop!" I yelled at Tyson.

The only answer I got was an evil smirk on his face. When I hear Castle whimpering on his chair on the other side of the room, my heart shatters into a million pieces.

Tyson holds out his knife and watches the blood running down from the blade. It all feels like a horrible nightmare and all I want to do is wake up – immediately. But the overwhelming pain in my heart says me that this isn´t a dream this time. It´s real and I can´t do anything then watch.

In that moment Tyson quickly runs his blade all over Rick's chest and leaves a thick cut. Rick is now screaming painfully. I start again to yell that he needs to stop and try to free myself from the chains but nothing helps. The tears now start to roll over my cheeks. I held them back for so long, just not to give Tyson the satisfaction.

After a few more painfully screams and cuts Rick gets nonsentient from all the pain. And I find myself sobbing hanging in the chains on the wall. My whole body is arching and my knees can´t hold my weight up any longer.

Then Tyson lets go of Rick and comes towards me. I see in his face that he is laughing but all sounds I hear are muted because of all the pain I feel in this moment. I´ve never saw Rick so weak and I never wanted to see him like this.

When Tyson arrives beside me he put my chin in his hand and forces me to look him in the eyes. Through my tears I can only see a blurry smile. He got all he wanted already after the short time I came here. He broke Rick physical and me mental.

"It was a really good choice to come here alone" Tyson smirks. "I didn´t expect that it will be that much fun to see you two shatter. But we´re not done yet, Kate. When your lover is awake again, it´s your turn."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Kate´s POV

I don´t know for how long I was hanging sobbing in my chains, but it feels like a life time. Tyson´s gone after he threatened me and left me and Rick alone in the basement. I tried a few times to wake him up with my voice but nothing helped. So I´m standing chained against the wall on my weak knees. The handcuffs are cutting in my wrists and my whole body is hurting.

After a few more minutes Rick is waking up and rising his head from his chest. His ocean blue eyes find immediately mine.

"I´m so sorry Rick" I cried.

"No Kate please don´t do this, it´s not your fault" he says with a weak voice.

I can still see the pain shot through his whole body.

"Rick he will be back in a few minutes and…"

"We need to get out of here Kate" he cuts my words.

"But…" I started again.

"No Kate no but, we need to get out immediately! I don´t want him to hurt you, I can´t…"

The rest of the sentence ends in sobbing while tears start to stream down his face. This was the moment the door above swings open again and Tyson´s climbing down the stairs to us.

"Oh see who´s awake again. So then we can start with part two of our little show. I think this will be my favorite one."

"Don't you dare to touch her" Rick is shouting.

But Tyson didn´t even look at him. No, he walks straight to me.

I hear Rick screaming in the background, but all I can think about is the knife in Tyson´s hand. He´s brushing the blade lightly above my left arm before he tightens the pressure and I can´t repress a painful scream.

While I try to swallow the pain I can hear Rick´s heartbreaking screams.

"No! Kate! Please stop it! Take me, do this to me but please let her go!"

This was the last thing I hear before Tyson beats me straight in my face. In the first moment I can only see a lot of stars zipping in front of my eyes.

"No Rick, I won´t let her go. She went here to safe you but she obviously failed, so she needs to take the aftermath. You can beg me as much as you want but you can´t stop me. So enjoy the show."

With an evil smirk he frees me from the chains and pushes me on the ground. He pinned me with his body and his hands, so that I can´t defend myself in any way.

A horrible thought comes up on my mind and I try to vanish it as fast as I can. But when I look up in the evil eyes of Jerry Tyson, which are only inches away from mine, I know that he just read my mind.

He fixed my hand with one of his own above my head and with the other he started to move all over my body. I try to scream and kick him off me but I´m too weak to move his body even a little bit.

As he starts to unbutton my pants I knew I was stuck in my biggest nightmare. I hear Ricks screams only blurry in the background because all I can think about is the pain Tyson caused me through at this moment. Again I try to break free from his grip but this even makes the pain worse.

I don´t know how long I was lying there before I passed out.

Rick´s POV

"No stop it – please! Oh god please I can´t… Let go of her…" I scream crying.

But nothing helps. After the longest minutes ever in my life, Tyson backed off and walks towards me. To my wondrousness he uncuffed me from my chair.

But before I have the chance to attack him, he points his gun on my head. In that position he slowly walks up the stairs.

When he reaches the door he says to me "She was the best I had in the last time."

And with an evil laugh he locked the door.

I get up from my chair as fast as I can but my wounds are still bothering me. When I reach Kate I immediately break down by her side. Oh god I never seen her like this.

She´s so… I can´t even find words for it. My heart breaks even more the longer I look at her.

I carefully put her head in my lap and start to stroke her hair softly.

"I´m so sorry Kate, I should have forestall it but I couldn´t. I´m so sorry, I didn´t want this to happen" I whisper sobbing in her hair.

After a few minutes sitting in this position I heard shots from above. Before I can realize what´s happening the door flew open and a glarier beam is pointed at us.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Rick´s POV

I glance against the bright light but I didn´t see who´s behind this.

"They are here" a familiar voice yelled.

Then Esposito climbs down the stairs to us.

"Oh god you´ve found us" I sobbed in release. "We need an ambulance now" I say while I held Kate even tighter in my arms.

"Oh god Castle what happened to her" Espo says with shock in his eyes.

"He… He…" I stuttered while the tears start again to stream from my cheeks.

"It´s okay Castle" he whispers while he lightly strokes my back. "Let´s get you two out of here, the ambulance is already waiting."

After they separated us in the hospital I started worrying about Kate even more. I need to know how she´s doing but the doctors who are determining me won´t tell me anything. So I just keep bothering them with more questions.

After they finished fixing my injuries I was allowed to leave the room. I went out of my door to see Esposito and Ryan already waiting for me.

"Where is Kate? Did the doctor tell you anything about her?" I ask immediately.

"No Castle we´re sorry they didn't told us anything. C´mon bro take a seat and tell us what happened" Ryan said and guided me to a chair.

After I finished telling them the whole story how Tyson kidnapped me and tortured me and Kate, they guys tell me that they went to Orlando right after Espo received the message from Kate.

"The Orlando Police Department didn´t wanted to do something because we had no specific clues where Tyson is, except the message from Beckett. So we immediately took the next flight. But it took it´s time to come to Orlando, so when we arrived we went straight to the address. And the moment we arrived, we found Tyson in the kitchen cleaning blood from his knife. After that we forced him to give up, but he tried to attack us and Espo shot him in the chest."

"Wait is he dead?" I ask with a little hope in my voice.

"Yes Rick he´s dead, he won´t hurt you two anymore."

I sigh in relief as my eyes start filling with tears again.

In that moment a doctor walks towards us and asks

"Who is Mr. Castle?"

"That´s me" I say jumping up from my chair.

"You can go see your fiancé now."

"How is she? Is she okay?"

"She´s still asleep and she will probably feel pain in her abdomen the next days, but she will be okay."

After I moved my chair beside Kate's bed, I grabbed her hand softly with mine. With my other shacking hand I softly stroke over her cheek.

"It´s over babe. He´s dead. He can´t hurt us anymore".

In that moment Kate´s eyes slowly fluttered open.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Rick´s POV

Kate´s eyes slowly start to open while I softly stroke her cheek.

"Kate" I start to whisper to help her get out of her sleep.

When her eyes are fully open I can see confusion in them. But wait was is that, Kate´s eyes are now wide open and I can see panic build up in them.

"Shh Kate, it´s me. Rick. Tyson is dead, he´s gone."

In that moment Kate abruptly flinched back and tries to get away from me.

Confusion is now mirroring in my face. What the hell just happened? Did she really try to get away from me?

"Kate what´s up? It´s me."

She just stares at me with fearful eyes. I can see tears start to build up in them when she finally finds her voice.

"I… I can´t. It´s…" she starts to stutter.

"Please go Rick" she said with a determined face.

"What? This is a joke right?"

But I can see in her eyes that it isn´t. She wants me gone, after all we´ve been through together in the past hours she wants me gone. I don´t know what to think anymore.

"Rick please."

With that she brought me back from my thoughts. I stand up from my chair and take a last look at her.

Now I can see tears streaming down her beautiful face and with a resolute nod she signals me to go. When I close the door behind me, I still can understand what just happened.

Then I can feel the tears starting to burn in my eyes.

Kate´s POV

What the hell just happened? I just sent Rick, the love of my life, out of the room. How could I do something like that, after all we´ve been through together, should I normally jump in his strong arms because it´s over, right?

But something changed.

When Rick´s hands were on my skin it didn´t felt pleasant. I felt like his touch was burning trough my skin and I just wanted to scream and run.

During the last few minutes and all the confusion of my feelings I felt, I didn´t realize the pain in my abdomen. And with the pain all the horrible memories come back.

My body starts to shake uncontrollable now and I can´t hold the tears and the sobbing back anymore. But why had I these feelings when Rick touched me? He didn´t do this to me and he would never hurt me. He loves me and he wanted to stop Tyson, but couldn´t do anything.

When the pictures and feelings light up in my head again, I feel the fear climbing up in my body. I just want to hide and never come back. So I try to hide under the covers and just start to sob even more. I don´t know how long I was lying in the pleasant darkness of the covers before I heard the door gets opening again.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Kate´s POV

I can see a man in white walking into my room, while I risked a quick look from under my blanket. When I identified the man as my doctor I wipe my eyes and try to sit up in my bed.

"Ah Ms. Beckett, I see you are awake. How are you feeling?"

For almost one minute I just stare at him without saying a word.

"Ms. Beckett I know it´s hard and I can´t imagine what you´ve been through, but you need to talk to me and tell me how you´re feeling. Otherwise I can´t help you."

"I.. I don´t know." I stutter.

"My stomach is hurting and I feel like…"

The tears and the sobs that came out of my throat interrupted me from finishing my sentence.

"Okay I can give you medications to soothe the pain in your stomach, but it will still last for a few weeks. Your condition is stable so you can go home in an hour."

"Home?" I ask in incredulity.

"Sure home. I think you will recover the best, when you are in a familiar territory."

I couldn´t bring out another word so I just nodded in agreement. The doctor makes his way towards the door as I raised my voice once more.

"Uhm can you.. can you send Rick to me again?"

His face is kind as he turned to me and smiled, "sure I will tell him".

After that the door closes and I´m alone again.

I need to fix this. I really don´t know what happened when Rick was in my room the first time. My whole body just panicked and even now that I know he will be here in a few minutes, I can already feel the panic climb up in my body.

Then I hear the careful knock on the door and with that I see Rick standing in my room. But he don´t look like my fiancée, he looks like a little scared boy with bruises and red puffy eyes. I pretend he looks as miserable as I do. This sight shatters my heart into pieces.

"Hey" he says with a silent voice.

"Rick I´m so sorry. I don´t know what happened."

"Hey no shh. Don´t be sorry after all you´ve been through."

I can feel the hot tears burning in my eyes again.

"You want to sit with me?" I asked while a single tear rolls over my cheek.

He carefully walks over to the chair beside my bed. But instead of just sitting onto it, he moved the chair further away from my bed. I hated myself for this thought, but I was happy that he keeps the distance.

"So he´s dead, right?"

"Yes Kate he´s gone and he can never hurt you again."

"How? I mean how did he get killed?"

"Espo shot him in the chest as they tried to rescue us."

"Oh uhm okay." I answered while I nervously played with the blanket in my hands.

"Kate listen.." Rick starts, but I should never hear what he was trying to say, because in that moment the door slams open again and my doctor smiled at me.

"Ms. Beckett you can go home now. I already signed your discharge papers, so get your stuff and then get out of here." He said with a big smile on his face.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Kate´s POV

Rick kindly guided me to his car in the parking garage. He opens the door for my, but always keeps the distance.

As I sit down on my seat, I immediately move as near as I can to the door. I just can´t stand the near at the moment. I hate this feeling so much, but I can´t fight it at the moment. Not in this mental condition. I feel so awkward and guilty the whole drive. None of us says a single word.

When we arrive at the loft Castle puts my stuff in the bedroom.

As he comes back he asks "Are you hungry? Shall we cook something?"

Honestly I´m not a little bit hungry. But I agreed as I thought it would distract us both a bit from this awkward situation. So we decided to cook noodles with Bolognese.

Again a deadly silence was in the air.

After I put the glass of Bolognese out of the shelf board, I accidently streak Rick´s arm when I turned around again. Immediately my whole body was in tense and I froze as I dropped the glass and it shatters on the floor in a million pieces.

At first I just stand there in shock - in shock of my hard reaction and in self embarrassment. I didn´t dare to look at Rick because I was too scared of his reaction.

But in that moment he just went straight to our bedroom without saying a word.

This behavior brings me to shatter. I sunk down on the floor and start to cry uncontrollable.

Rick´s POV

When I slammed the door shut I immediately sunk down on the back of the door. The tears are now streaming down my face and my body starts to shake.

I thought it´s over. I thought all ended with our rescue from this cruel place. But this is even worse than anything Tyson did to me.

She can´t even bear the smallest touch from me, as her reaction only minutes before makes clear. She´s broken and I can´t help her, can´t touch her. I just can´t do anything.

I so wish I could take her in my arms and never let her go. Tell her that all will be fine and that she will be fine again. I want to say so many things to her but every time I stand in front of her and look into her broken eyes I just want to hold her tight to me.

But I can´t – and this fact kills me inside.

As I realize what happened to our perfect relationship with so much trust and love, I can´t stop the sobs which escaping my throat.

Where do we go from here? How can we ever be "us" again, after all what happened?


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Rick´s POV

Thirty minutes later I felt ready to face her again. When I walk out of the bedroom, I´m confronted with a full meal on the table.

"Dinner´s ready – take a seat" Kate yelled through the kitchen.

I´m confused because I didn´t expected a behavior like this. I expected her to be angry due to my reaction but not something like that. This has to bother her either. She couldn´t take my hard reaction so lightly, could she?

But when she comes to bring two glasses of water to the table my thoughts were confirmed. I can see that she´s been crying too because her eyes were all red and puffy.

"Kate listen, I´m sorry but…"

"No problem, it´s okay" she interrupts me like nothing happened.

"No Kate nothing is okay. You aren´t okay and we neither! Babe, we need to talk."

"There´s nothing to talk about. We should probably go to eat dinner now, because it´s getting cold", she says with a strange look on her face.

"Is this supposed to be a joke or something?" I ask her unbelievingly.

She can´t be serious. My whole head is spinning and this makes it even harder to find a clear thought.

"Rick this isn´t a joke – I don´t want to talk about it! This discussion is finished now!" Kate yells with resolution and drops down on the couch.

"Kate please I don´t want to fight, I just want to help you" I whisper while I take a seat on the couch across from her.

In this moment the feeling to hold her close in my arms is overwhelming. I can see tears glistering in her eyes when she silently whispers "I´m sorry. I know Castle, it´s just… You can´t help me. No one can."

When I see a single tear roll down her cheeks I fight the urge to walk to her and kiss it away. Every time when I see her in this condition my heart shatters.

"Just tell me what´s on your mind. I´m sure it will help" I tell her encouraging.

"How should this help? I can´t even look you straight in the eyes without feeling ashamed for myself", she confesses.

I can´t believe what I just heard from her.

"Oh my god Kate! No please there´s no need to be ashamed!"

"Really Rick? Then why do I feel so embarrassed? You´ve seen me in a condition no one ever was supposed to see, so weak and vulnerable."

When she finally faces me I can see the tears streaming down from her beautiful eyes. She´s broken. We both are and she refuses to talk to me.

"Well" I started when I clear my throat, "if you don´t want to talk to me, maybe you can consider to talk to your old therapist? You know he can help you."

With this sentence I leave the room.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Kate´s POV

When I sit on the leather seat with my knees pulled up to my body I suddenly feel very nervous. A few seconds later Dr. Burke enters the room.

"Detective Beckett, nice to see you" he greets me with a friendly smile on his face.

"Thank you for taking the time Dr. Burke" I respond.

"I´m sorry for what happened, your precinct already informed me. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" I whisper without looking at him.

"Okay, than why are you here Kate?"

"Rick told me that it would be helpful to talk with a neutral person but I… can´t" I tell him with tears in my eyes.

"So I presume you haven´t talked with Rick about what happened?"

"I tried to but I couldn´t. I can´t even look him in the eyes without feeling ashamed for myself."

"Why do you think you feel this way?" he asks with a questioning look.

"Because he has seen me so vulnerable."

"But as I was told, you have seen him weak too? He tortured Rick in front of you, but Rick doesn´t feel this way when he looks at you."

When this scene repeats in my head I can´t hold back the tears.

"But it´s not the same" I tell him, my voice not more than a whisper. "I just want to turn back time. We were happy, it was supposed to be our perfect day and now look at me. Look at…us. I can´t even bear his touch."

"Take your time Kate, you need to work this out for yourself. And I´m sure Rick will help you in every possible way, just don´t push him away. He hasn´t done those things to you, you know he would never hurt you, keep this in your mind. Take it slow but let him help you to get through this hard time. And always remember he´s been through stuff too."

With this we finished our first session and I went home.

When I open the door to Rick´s loft he already waits for me in the living room.

"Kate" he breaths when I enter the room.

"Hi" I say with a shy smile on my face.

"How was your session with Dr. Burke?" Ricks asks carefully but curious.

"Actually it was hard. But… It was good" I tell him with a soft smile on my face.

He smiles back at me and I take a seat on the couch beside him. But I´m always aware to keep my distance, I´m not ready for closeness, yet.

"Do you want to talk about the session?" Rick asks shyly.

"Uhm we talked about my current state. He reminded me that I´m not the only one who had gone through this hell. I´m sorry Rick I was so selfish."

"Kate no…" he interrupts me.

"Please let me finish. I decided to meet with him twice a week from now on. I think it will be helpful and I promise to work on myself" I whisper to him.

In this moment I remember what Dr. Burke told me this afternoon. Rick hasn´t hurt me and he never would. He will do everything to make me feel comfortable and he´s in this with me.

So I bear down my own fears and softly grab Rick´s hand in mine.

I can see the shock on his face, but after he understands what I was trying to show him with this small gesture, he gives me his most beautiful smile and interlaces his fingers carefully with mine.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Rick´s POV

Since Kate wasn´t ready for closeness yet, I offered to sleep on the couch until we get this whole thing behind us. When I´m supposed to sleep in the dark of my living room, I start to get lost in my thoughts.

Only an hour before we were sitting on this couch and she signalized me that we will work this thing out together. When she finally grabbed my hand all the hope I had lost got back to me again. She will need time and I presume it will still be a really hard progress for her… and for me. But we are strong. We already have overcome so much miserable and dangerous situations, so we can also deal with that one. After what seemed like hours I finally fall asleep.

"No Kate! Please don´t push me away!"

I say while tears stream down my face.

"Castle I can´t. I can´t stand this whole situation any longer. I can´t let all what happened just behind me and be happy with you again. I will never be happy again after all what happened."

"But I thought you are willing to figure this out with me. Kate I will give you all the time you need, just please don´t go now", I shout after her when her gaze find mine a last time.

With already one foot out of the door she raises her voice one more time.

"It´s not you Rick, it´s me. In hard situations I push people away. I can´t deal another way with all of this. It´s over – we´re done."

And with this she slumps the door shut and let me break down in the hallway.

A scream wakes me from my sleep. My whole body is covered with sweat and for the first few seconds I don´t recognize where I am. Right, I slept in the living room. Oh my god it was all just a horrible nightmare.

But wait. Kate was screaming, wasn´t she? I immediately get from the couch and run to our bedroom.

Kate sits huddled together with her knees on her chest in the bed and is shaking violently.

"Kate what happened?" I whispered as I slowly make my way to the bed.

She tries to answer me, but through all the sobbing I can´t understand a single word. So I just placed myself on the bed beside her but I´m always aware to keep distance between us.

"I had a nightmare" she manages to get out between her sobs.

It hurts so much to see her this way, so shaken up, and to know that I can´t do anything for her. When her crying slowly gets less she looks at me with red puffy eyes.

"I so wish I would be ready to fall in your arms right know", she whispers with a sad look on her face.

"I know – me too Kate. Me too."

And with that I softly brush my fingers above her hand. She shows me, with a weak smile, that she finds comfort in this small touch and starts to tell me about her nightmare.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Kate´s POV

After a couple of visits in Dr. Burke´s office, I find myself sitting on his chair once more.

"How are you holding up this time Kate?" he asks me politely.

"I.. Ehh.. I have a lot of nightmares this time. Almost every night I wake up screaming and crying in my bed", I tell him while I look down on the floor.

"What are these dreams about?"

"About a lot of things. The most of them are really confusing and some of them are crystal clear. I dream about Tyson and.. about Rick."

The last part of my answer is only a whisper.

"How do these dreams about Rick look like?"

When I meet the gaze of Dr. Burke a single tear slips down my cheek.

"In my dreams he always leaves me. He says that he can´t wait forever for me to be fixed again. That he can´t do this any longer and either wants to push me to much or wants to break up with me." I whisper with a resigned look.

"Where is Rick when you have these dreams and did he ever mention a behavior like this?"

"No" I say while a soft smile lights up my face. "We agreed that he sleeps on the couch at the moment, but every time I have a nightmare he comes running up into my room and tries to calm me down. He´s always so kind to me and gives me all the time and space that I need. I can already bear small touches from him, like we´re holding hands and things like that."

"That´s great Kate" he says with an encouraging smile on his face. "This is the right way to get all this behind. Kate he loves you more than anything and he will help you in every possible way. Just let him help."

After the session with Dr. Burke I go straight home. When I open the door to the loft a delicious smell welcomes me.

"Rick I´m home" I yell while I put off my shoes.

"Here in the kitchen" he shouts back.

As I entered the kitchen and the living room my mouth plops open. Rick is standing beside the table with a complete dinner on it.

"What´s that for?" I ask with a big smile on my face.

"Because you are my beautiful fiancée and I love you more than anything" he tells me with true love in his eyes.

I´m so touched from his amazing gesture that tears are glistering in my eyes and I softly brush a small kiss on his cheek. When I sit down on the table I can still see the blush on Rick´s cheeks and that silly grin on his face. We will get back to where we were I think to myself with a smirk on my lips.

After finishing the dishes and a light hearted conversation on the couch together, I decide to go to bed.

"You can go changing in the bathroom and I will come back in a few minutes to say you good night" Rick tells me.

So I walk straight to the bathroom to get ready for bed. A few minutes later I find myself lying in the big bed and waiting for Rick to tell me good night.

When the door finally swings open Rick blows me a good night kiss and turns around.

"Wait Rick!" I shout after him.

"What´s wrong Kate?" he asks a little insecure.

"Ehh uhm…" I started to stutter.

What the hell Kate I think to myself. Just grid your teeth.

Rick patiently stands in the door frame and waits for my answer.

"I just.. Can you sleep here tonight?" I ask with a shy look on my face.

Rick looks like I just hit him in the gut. But only seconds after that a big smile escapes from his lips.

"You.. You´re sure?" Now it´s his turn to stutter.

"Yeah I´m sure" and with that I put the blanket back on his side to invite him into our bed.

At first we are both lying uncomfortable straight beside each other but in the next moment I put all my courage up and snuggle against Rick´s side.

I must have caught him by surprise because immediately his body stiffens. After the first shock he puts his arms tightly around me. Now all my muscles are in tense of the first touch but only seconds later I find myself lying fully relaxed in the arms of the love of my life.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Kate´s POV

It´s the first time I wake up without having any nightmares, after what seems like eternity. I still lie in the same position I fell asleep last night - tightly wrapped up in the embrace of Rick´s strong arms. He´s still fast asleep and looks so peacefully.

After such a long time it feels like I see him the first time this way. Through the past weeks his face was drawn by so much worry, fear and insecurity. And even my own insecurity and fear seems like it´s all washed away.

After the traumatic happenings I consisted only as an empty shell. I couldn´t allow myself to feel any good feelings. And now.. I´m fulfilled with them.

All I feel at the moment is pure love for the man beside me. It feels so normal to lie in his arms like that and it seems like the abduction never happened.

I push myself a little upwards, so my face is in front of his. After several moments of hesitation I slowly put my lips on his. I feel his body shift beneath me and his lips start to move softly with mine.

The kiss was slow and sweet. I missed the taste of his lips on my own so much and let the kiss carry all my sorrows away. While we are kissing, Rick still hasn´t opened his eyes.

A few seconds later I get totally lost in our kiss when it starts getting more passionately. Rick´s hands move up my body and he starts playing with my hair, while his other hand softly cups my cheek.

We both finally break away for air and Rick´s eyes flutter open. Our faces mirroring each other. We both stare in the eyes of the other with so much love in it and a big smile on our lips.

"Wow" Rick breathed.

Immediately I feel the blush on my cheeks.

"Good morning" I say while I quickly steel another kiss from his lips.

"This is a good morning" he says laughing.

"How did you sleep?"

"Much better than for a long time" I smile back at him.

"That´s great to hear. What do you think? Wanna get up and go get some breakfast and coffee?"

"You don´t need to ask me twice" I answer while I pull Rick out of our bed.

Rick can´t control his smile when he hands me my coffee. Neither can I. So we sit there eating our pancakes and just smile at each other.

"The pancakes are amazing" I complement Rick and make him blush a little.

"Well thanks – only the best for my beautiful fiancée."

I never thought that a night in the warmth of his embrace could make me feel so free again. The first time in a long time I finally believe Rick´s words that we will find our way back and I think we´re on the best way.

"Do you want to do something today", Rick snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Maybe we could go for a walk in the park?" I ask with pleading eyes.

Rick´s face lit up more if that´s even possible.

"For sure. Let´s go get dressed and then strike out to the park", Rick says with his most charming smile.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Kate´s POV

After several hours walking through the park we both decided to went home when the sun slowly begun to set. Finally at home we ended up cuddled together on the couch watching a movie.

When I lie there snuggled up against Rick I just enjoy his presence and his near. I never believed that this thought would ever cross my mind any time soon. But the efforts from Rick and the happenings in the last days give me such a good feeling and hope. No not hope – sureness that we can be us again and pick up where we left off.

After we finished the movie Rick smiles down at me, "the day was perfect".

I softly let our lips touch before I whisper "it could be even more perfect".

I can see the shocked expression on his face so I quickly moved my lips back on his. The kiss gets more passionately soon.

Softly I straddle Rick on the couch, which seems to encourage him as he moved his hands along my body. Before I get too lost in the kiss I pull away and breathe in his ear "bedroom".

Rick´s body stiffens a little but only a few seconds later he carries me to our bedroom and gently lays me down on the bed. He hovers himself over me and starts to kiss me again.

Rick softly brushed his tongue over my lower lip to ask for permission. After I granted him access our tongues slowly start dancing together. He´s so gently but I still feel hesitation in his movements, so I enclose my arms at his neck and pull him close to me.

His hands start to discover my body and carefully push up my top. The touch on my naked skin feels indescribable after the long time. I find myself unbuttoning his shirt and strip it down over his shoulders. After the bothersome article of clothing was gone, Rick puts my back up and helps me out of mine. With an encouraging look from me, he also unclasps my bra and pulls me down on the mattress again.

Rick starts to kiss down my neck and sucks softly on my pulse point. Through the sensation of that I couldn´t prevent the moan which escaped my mouth. I tangle my hands in his hair when he makes his way down my body. Rick gently cups my breast and places soft wet kisses on my scar. After he paid the same attention to both of my breasts he trails his way with kisses further down.

When his hands carefully slip into the waistband of my jeans and his fingers start to undo the button his actions suddenly stop. When I met his gaze I see the insecurity in his eyes. But there is more hidden behind these baby blue eyes – fear.

I carefully cup his cheek with my hand and bring the other to rest on his above my jeans button. The small gesture seems to give him the security he needs. He smiles back at me and slowly undoes my button and unzips my pants, but never breaks eye contact with me. He finally shoved my pants and underwear off of my legs and his own following right after that.

Ricks hands are carefully caressing my tights and moving upwards when I raise my voice "Rick…".

In that moment he locked his eyes with mine.

"Wait" I breathe.

He immediately moves his hands away from my tights.

"No! I don´t mean this" and so I guide his hands softly back at my body. "Just… Just give me a second okay?" I give him a little smile.

"Sure, sure whatever you need" he responds with hesitation in his eyes.

Okay Kate calm down, I think to myself. I can make this work. It´s Rick and we have done this before and it was always amazing. While I´m thinking about our previous nights together, a smirk appears on my lips.

"What´s that smirk for?" Rick asks curious.

When I look again in the deep ocean blue eyes of him, filled with nothing but love, all my worries are gone. I pull him close to me and he rests his forehead against mine.

"I love you" I whisper softly.

"I love you too Kate – so much."

I press my lips for a passionately kiss on his and with that he enters me with one slow stroke. After a few seconds I acclimated to his length and fully relax beneath his body.

We make love like nothing ever happened. Rick let me feel his pure love and gently caressed my whole body. After several times I eventually find the courage to flip Rick over and land straddling him down to the mattress. I can see the surprise in his eyes but also feel his arousal growing.

It only needs a few more sloppy thrusts from Rick till we finally reach our climaxes. I collapse on his bare chest and he pulls his shaky arms around me. When we both finally catch our breaths again I move my head to look in his eyes.

"I love you" we say at the same time and instantly our faces are filled with a wide grin.

I press my lips once again on his and only minutes after that we both fall asleep in the embrace of the other.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Rick´s POV

When I awake in the morning, I feel Kate tightly snuggled against my side. The last night was amazing. It was all just so normal and we both were so comfortable with each other. I think we finally found our way back. During the last weeks Kate made so much progress and worked so hard on our relationship.

It seems like Dr. Burke really helped her a lot with the recovery. Sometimes it´s much easier to open up to a stranger than to the persons you love the most. Even I noticed that.

Kate suffered so much since the abduction, but she wasn´t the only one. I didn´t knew how much more she could take, so I didn´t wanted to bother her with my own feelings. The thing that she doesn´t know is, that I also went to a therapist one time per week.

I needed someone to talk to, because damn it, I saw Tyson rape her in front of my eyes. And how could I even possibly think to talk with Kate about this. No, I needed to be strong for her – for us.

Slowly I can feel movements beside me. And only seconds after she pulled me out of my thoughts, I look in the wonderful hazel eyes of my fiancée.

"Good morning beautiful" I whisper with a big smile on my face.

"Hey" she responds with a shy smile and a flush on her cheeks. "Rick, last night it was… it was amazing."

I softly grab her arm and drag her on my chest. My left hand slides down her spine while my other hand gently cups her cheek and pulls her in for a sweet kiss. When we part for air I carefully rest my head on her forehead.

"Yes it was" I speak under breathe.

"I love you Kate."

She immediately crashes her lips back on mine. This time our kiss quickly got more passionately and demanding. Kate parts her lips and grants me entrance. I softly let our tongues touch and soon our kiss gets hotter. Finally she pulls heavily breathing away.

"I love you Rick."

Since a long time I can see that glow in her beautiful eyes again. That glow which fascinated me ever since I first met her.

Kate´s POV

Today is my first day back at the precinct after two month of hard therapy. At last I can say that I´m almost my old self again. Rick and I did great progress in our relationship; it feels like the old days. Even if I feel comfortable with myself again, I must confess that I´m really nervous about my first workday. Naturally Rick is by my side in this important moment.

When we enter the elevator I can feel my heart beat rising. Rick softly grabs my hand and asks, "Hey, you´re nervous?"

"Nervous? No! Why should I" I respond with an insecure tone in my voice.

"Liar!" he laughs. "Come on Kate - It´s okay to be nervous. You´ve been away for so long, but you will see that all missed you and that they are glad you´re back."

"Really?" I ask shyly.

He gives me a sweet kiss on my lips and gently strokes my cheek.

"Really – I promise." And with that the elevator doors swing open.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Kate´s POV

When I take the first steps into the 12th all people start to applause. It is an awkward moment for me because I hate to be in focus. Rick has to sense the change in my posture and puts encouraging his arm around my shoulders. As we reached my desk Lanie immediately pulls me in a tightly hug.

"Girl you´re back – I missed you so much!"

"It´s so good to see you Lanie!" I say while she softens her grip on me.

"We´re so glad that you are back Beckett" the boys tell me simultaneously.

"It was time that you finally come back. My partner here thought he´s kind of the boss in our team now" Ryan laughs while he gets a deadly glare from Espo.

"Now we will make some major changes and bring back discipline and order in this team" I giggle.

"What´s going on out there", Gates yells when she gets out of her office.

She abruptly stops when she sees me.

"Detective Beckett, what a great pleasure!" she greets me with a warm smile.

"And Mr. Castle, I have to say it´s a pleasure to see you back either."

"Captain Gates that I´m allowed to hear those words from your mouth" Rick taunts.

"Don´t make me regret my words Mr. Castle" she warns Rick.

I can´t hold myself back any longer and burst out into laughter when I look at Ricks pouted face.

"Detective can I have a word with you in my office?" and with that Gates guides me into her office.

"Beckett how are you holding up?" she asks gently.

"I feel much better captain. I´ve been to therapy over the past couple of weeks and it really helped a lot. I think I can resume my work again."

"That´s a good coincidence because today I got your certification for that and so I can say: Welcome back!" Gates says with a smile on her lips. "And now go out and celebrate with your friends."

"Thanks captain!" I smile when I pull her in for a short hug.

"Guess who´s back!" I scream when I get out of the office while I held my badge in the air.

Immediately Rick pulls me up and swings me around. We both laugh so much that he almost drops me down.

When he carefully puts me down to the bottom the other three crashed into me. I stumbled backwards and we landed altogether on the floor. Rick can´t hold himself back and we all start to laugh with all of our heart.

"Guys who want to have a drink in the Old Haunt together? It´s on me" Rick asks.

"Yeah" we all respond after we finally got up from the floor.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Kate´s POV

"It was a good first day back at work. And the afternoon in the Old Haunt was even better." I say smiling to Rick while we prepare dinner in the kitchen.

"Yes it was really a great day", Rick responds. "Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes. Can you set the table please?"

"Sure babe" I grin.

After we got home we throw our coats over the chairs. So I need to put them into the wardrobe first. When I grab the two jackets a single paper floats out of it. I pick it up and read the small paper. It´s an appointment for a doctor, but it´s not mine.

"Rick what´s that?" I yell across the room and show him the paper.

I can see the shock in Rick´s eyes.

"Kate listen to me…"

"I want an explanation. What is that?" I say with concern in my eyes.

He confesses, "It´s… it´s the reminder of my next appointment with my therapist."

"Your… Your what?" I say unbelievable.

How could I be so blind? He suffered as much as I did, but I didn´t even asked him about it. How could I be so selfish?

"You lied to me. Why didn't you tell me?" I ask while I slowly sink down on the couch.

Rick immediately sits down beside me and grabs my hand.

"Kate I´m so sorry, but I didn´t wanted to bother you even more. You fought so hard, to find your way back and I wanted to support you as much as I could. But shortly I realized that I couldn´t support you if I don´t get help either. And so I went to the therapist about one week after you started to see Dr. Burke."

I´m shocked during the last weeks I only had eyes for my own problems.

"Oh my god Rick I´m so sorry!" I whisper while a single tears slips down my cheek.

"I was so selfish in the past weeks and didn´t even ask how you are feeling about all this. I feel so stupid right now. How could I do this to you?"

Now I can´t hold back my tears any longer. Rick gently puts his hands on my cheeks and brushes my tears away.

"Stop it Kate okay! I don´t make you a reproach. I saw how much you suffered and I just wanted to be there for you. I love you and I would do anything to make you feel better. I´m so happy that we both made such a great progress. And I promise you to forgive you for not asking if you forgive me my secret. Because that´s what partners are for, right?" he says with an encouraging smile.

"Okay" I tell him with a weak smile. "But I still feel like a jackass. Please promise me that we will talk about everything from now on. No more secrets."

"I promise – always" he whispers while he pulls me in for a sweet kiss.

"What smells so squirmy here?" I ask when we part.

"Oh my god" Rick screams while he rumbles up from the couch. "I totally forgot the steaks!"

When I look to the kitchen I can see all the steam in it.

"Oh shit!" I jump up and ran to the windows to open them.

In the meantime Rick puts the pan in the sink to drown the burned steak. I walk in the kitchen and gently pull my arms around his waist.

"You killed the steak" I whisper with a soft giggle in his ear.

"Seems like" he laughs while he turns and pecks my lips. "What do you think about going out for dinner?"

I smile and respond immediately "I will be ready in 5 minutes."

And with that I vanish in our bedroom.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Kate´s POV

Two weeks went by since I got back at work. I slowly get used to my daily routine again and Rick went back to his writing. Today is a quiet day at work and so all I have to do is paperwork. While I browse through the thousands of papers on my desk I realize again this feeling of sickness.

During a couple of days I have this nausea and throw up a few times. I quickly get up from my chair and make my way to the restrooms. I just got there in time before I need to throw up again. What the hell is this? I feel miserable but I didn't wanted Rick to worry about me. We promised no more secrets anymore but this isn´t really a secret, right?

For my lunch I meet up with Lanie. So I made my way down to the morgue and greet her with a hug.

"Hi Girl, how are you?" Lanie asks with a smile.

"Uhm…" I start before I ran to the next garbage can to throw up once more.

"Kate oh my god, are you alright?" she says while she puts back my hair.

"I´m okay", I say as I sit down on the opposite chair of Lanie. "I only have this nausea over the last couple of days. But I´m fine, it will be over soon."

"You have this feeling for a few days, right?" I shoot her an annoyed glare.

"Yeah I just said that. Why are you asking?"

"Girl have you already thought about other possibilities?"

"What are you talking about? I…"

Oh my god – no this can´t be right. It´s not possible or?

"Lanie…" I whisper breathlessly. "You want to say that I´m pregnant?"

"I don´t… I mean it´s a possibility, isn´t it?"

"But… But we forefend" I try to defend myself.

"It´s not 100 % safe, you know that."

"No Lanie. But… No just no! I´m not ready for that – I can´t be pregnant." I stutter when tears start to stream down my cheeks.

My friend immediately comes over and pulls me in for a tight hug. She gently rubs my back and tells me, "Hey Kate all will be good. Let me run a blood test and we will know it for sure."

After she took my blood I still sit there in shock.

"Okay I will get your test to the labor but it will take a few hours. And you know what? I think you should talk with Rick."

When I look in her warm eyes I feel the tears sting in my own eyes again.

"I don´t want a child. Lanie don´t get me wrong. I love Rick and we already talked about this topic. But I was never the child-type and after all what happened we…"

I stop when I see Lanie´s eyes grow terrifying in shock.

"Lanie what…"

"Kate… How much time went by since the abduction?" she interrupts me.

"About two and a half month. Why? Lanie what is this all about?"

The fear in her shocked eyes seems to grow even more.

"K.. Ka.. Kate…" she stutters while her breath comes balking.

In this moment it hits me like a fist in the gut.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Kate´s POV

A single scream escapes my throat when I break down on the floor. I can´t hold back my sobs and tears any longer. I thought this is all finally over. And now I feel like I just woke up in my worst nightmare again. I feel Lanie´s arms around me while she tries to comfort me.

"Oh god Lanie this can´t be true" I sob.

"Shh shh Kate. I´m so sorry. I´m so sorry." She whispers softly in my ear.

I feel like I can´t breathe anymore. I gasp uncontrollable for air.

"Kate calm down please. Take a deep breath."

"How can I calm down Lanie?" I cry in her arms.

"I know girl.. I know", she says while tears start to run down her cheeks. "Kate…" she sobs. "Please go home. Go home and talk to Rick."

I finally manage to get myself together a bit and look in her worried eyes..

"How should I talk with him? I can´t take him back to that hell again. Damn, it almost broke us." I say resigned.

"You have to", she says with a weak voice.

When I open the door to the loft, I still look all messed up. I wonder how I managed to drive home in this condition.

"Hey Kate, how was… What happened?" he says in shock when he realizes that I´m crying.

"Rick.." I breathe. "Can we sit down?"

"Oh my god, Kate tell me what happened."

"Please can we sit down first" I stutter weakly.

Rick grabs my shaking hand when we sit down on the couch. The worry is all written over his face.

"Please Kate…" he whispers.

"I.. I.. It´s possible that I´m pregnant" I say almost inaudible.

"Oh okay. Kate, I think we can deal with it. We will find a way."

"No! No! Rick you don´t understand" I yell at him.

Rick sits there in shock and loosens the grip on my hand.

"Kate what the…" he suddenly stops talking while he looks me straight in the eyes.

I can see the realization hit him. His eyes grow terrifying wide and I can see tears well up in them.

"No…" he breathes. "No Kate.. We don´t know that. No!" he whimpers while the tears start to fall.

"But…" and with that I crash down on his chest.

He tightly wraps his arms around me. In this moment I realize that it´s so different to cry with him than to cry alone. I can´t hold myself back any longer and start to sob uncontrollable. Rick pulls me even tighter in his embrace.

"I´m so sorry" he whispers like a mantra into my ear.

After several minutes of crying together I carefully lift myself out of his embrace. I manage to say, "Lanie runs a blood test at the moment to be sure."

"Okay, when will we get the results?" Rick asks with a shaky voice.

"It takes a few hours. But I think we´ll get it soon." I tell him as a couple of tears slip down my cheeks.

"Hey" he whispers while he softly cups my cheeks and kisses my forehead.

"We will get through this. We´ve went through much worse, so we will overcome this – together."

I give him a weak smile. This smile should disappear during the next few seconds when my phone starts to ring.

When I look at the caller ID my face froze.

"It´s Lanie."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Kate´s POV

"Pick up", Rick whispers.

"Hey Lanie" I say with a shaky voice after I picked up the phone.

"I have great news for you girl! You´re not pregnant! All you have is a little infection." Lanie blows out in a mix of laugher and sobs.

"Oh my god Lanie! Thanks!" I stutter as I try to keep myself together. After I ended the call I look in the curious eyes of Rick. "I´m not pregnant – the test is negative" I say with a weak smile while a few sobs escape my throat.

Rick blows out a short deep breath. "Oh god, come here" he breathes when he opens his arms.

I immediately let myself fall into his arms and the tears start to fall again.

A few minutes later I pull myself out of Rick´s embrace and face him. We both look miserable with our red puffy eyes and the worry still written all over our faces.

"I´m.. Oh god I´m so relieved" I whisper.

"Me too, Kate. Me too." Rick responds.

"I don´t know if I would have the strength to go on if…"

"Shh stop it okay? You´re not pregnant and this is all what counts. And now we should celebrate the good news with a bottle champagne. What do you think?"

He smiles at me with this adorable smile and even if I really don´t feel like celebrating, I can´t refuse him this favor.

Rick comes back from the kitchen with the bottle and two glasses. After we toasted on my "not-pregnancy" we cuddle together on the couch and start to watch a movie. Neither of us notices what is happening in the film. Shortly after the end I realize that Rick was writing when I came home earlier so I ask him.

"Do you still need to finish your chapter tonight?"

He turns a little to face me and smiles at me. "No. Tonight I just want to be by your side."

I give him a sweet kiss on his lips and whisper in his ear, "Can we go to bed?" Immediately Rick picks me up bridal style and carries me into the bedroom.

Shortly after we both changed in our pyjamas, I slide down underneath the blanket. I snuggle up against Rick´s side and he pulls his strong arms around my waist to hold me even closer. It was a hard day for both of us and the exhaustion is settling in now.

I turn my head to face him once more and when I look in his bright beautiful eyes I say. "I love you! And… thank you!"

"For what?" he asks with confusion in his eyes.

"For everything – for having my back in every situation."

"Always" he whispers while he pulls me in for a passionately kiss. "I love you Kate."

And with this I bury my head into his chest and fall asleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Rick´s POV

While Kate fell asleep almost immediately, I can´t find my peace with sleep. This was a shock. This news brought all the fears of the last month back. I thought really we overcame the terrifying happenings. But this afternoon Kate suffered so much again. When she walked through that door on the edge of a break down I felt my heart shattering to pieces.

It hurts so much to see her this way again, but luckily the whole situation turned out in a good way. But what if… No Rick don´t go that way, I think to myself. But what if she would be pregnant without the chance that Tyson could be the father. Would her reaction have been the same?

I take a quick glance to Kate who is peacefully sleeping on my chest. She was so relieved after the call from Lanie and so was I. But I can´t stop thinking about what if… I already know that this will be a night full of tossing and turning.

Kate is still fast asleep, when I wake up in the next morning. I barely slept last night because my thoughts were floating around this one topic for hours. I can´t stay in bed any longer so I decide to get up and make some coffee. While I make the coffee for me and Kate I draw a heart of milk froth on her cup. I put the two cups on the tray and add two slice of toast. With the tray in my hands I carefully make my way to our bedroom.

When I enter the room I notice that Kate is already awake.

"Good morning" I say with a smile on my face.

"Hey" Kate replies sleepily.

The occurrences of last night had left it´s marks on her. Kate´s eyes are still swollen from the many crying yesterday evening.

"I made you breakfast and coffee" I tell her while I place the tray on the nightstand beside her. I climb back into my side of the bed with the cup of coffee and she welcomes me with a sweet kiss.

Kate takes her cup and smiles immediately back at me. "Aw Rick this is so sweet – thank you" she smiles.

"Always" I answer as I take a sip from my coffee. I need to talk to her about my thoughts last night otherwise these thoughts will get me insane. I build all my confidence up and ask, "Kate, can we talk?"

She gives me an insecure look and answers with a simple "sure".

We both sat up straight in the bed so we can face each other.

"Kate I was thinking about yesterday…" I start.

"Uhm okay?" she hesitates.

"I… I can´t stop thinking about what had happened if there haven´t been the chance that Ty… if the baby only could have been from me? Would your reaction still be the same?" I ask insecurely.

Kate looks at me with shocked eyes. "Rick…" she exclaimed terrifying, "you can´t compare these two things".

When I see tears well up in her eyes I softly grab her hand. "No Kate wait. I´m sorry I didn´t meant it this way. I meant if there weren´t this previous happenings would you still think the same way about a possible pregnancy?"

"I… I don´t know" she whispers.

Kate looks me in the eyes and I can´t hide the hurt in my eyes anymore.

"Rick I won´t lie to you… I need to confess that I´m really relieved that I´m not pregnant…" She pauses. "…even if it was from you" she adds with not more than a whisper while she drops her gaze.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Rick´s POV

I sit there in shock. Sure we already talked about the baby-topic, but to hear it so clear from her mouth feels different. I knew that she isn´t the baby-type but I always hoped that she would change her mind someday. But this statement sounded resolute.

"Kate…" I start. She still refuses to look at me, so I softly touch her chin and drag her face up.

When our eyes meet I can see a few single tears streaming down her face. I wipe them carefully away with my thumb.

"I´m sorry Rick, I let you down" she sobs.

"Hey" I say while I put her face in my hand. "Well okay I think I can´t hide my disappointment but maybe you can make me understand", I say with a faked encouraging smile.

She has a hesitantly look in her eyes when she starts speaking. "I love you Rick – you know that. I love you more than anything."

In this moment I have a lump in my throat and I just silently nod, while a single tear slips down my cheek.

"I´m not ready to be a mum yet. I don´t know maybe I will be ready in… maybe in a few years. Rick I was never the baby-type, it wasn´t my dream to be a mum. And you and Alexis… You are so thoughtful and I…" she stutters.

I´m speechless and that happens hardly ever. She drops her gaze again and my hands fall back in my lap.

"Kate I… I don´t really know what to say" I confess.

When she lifts her head once more I can see a weak smile on her lips. "I know Rick, there´s not much more to say" she sighs.

I open my arms and tell her to come here. At first she hesitates but shortly after she bumps in my embrace and hugs me tightly. I pull my arms around her and softly kiss her forehead.

"I´m so sorry Rick. I´m so sorry. I love you so much but…" she sobs.

I tangle my hand in her hair while my other hand softly lifts her head.

"Shh… Don´t… You weren´t pregnant so let´s don´t talk about it any longer. We can bring this topic up again when some time went by, okay? Maybe you will change your mind someday. And even if not, I already have the greatest daughter on earth."

She watches me with a confused but also relieved look. I softly caress her cheek when I let our lips touch and she roles on top of me.

"Thank you Rick – for not pushing me" she whispers.

Every time I look into her beautiful hazel eyes I lost myself in them. And yes I´m hurt from the decision she made but she also said that we can talk about it again.

I blow "I love you" on her lips when I kiss her once more. In this kiss we can taste all the pain and also the love from each other. After we part for air we let our foreheads touch and look into the eyes of the other. "So you´re still up for breakfast?" I ask with a small smirk on my lips.


End file.
